I never thought a simple skill like cycling could make one feel so liberating! I wish I had only learned it earlier. As cliche as it might sound, you don't learn cycling without falling. Almost 3 months of pedalling, I still fall often. As I write this, I can feel my knee pain from yesterday's fall. No, it is not that I didn't have the opportunity to learn. I chose not to learn for the fear of “falling”. Some of my friends suggested I should not cycle because I keep falling. I don't tell them, the more I fall, the more determined I feel to pedal. I guess, it's the mundane circular motion of pedalling that makes me want to fall and climb back again. To fall. If falling is liberating, I take it. I feel it, I feel it to my core.
One of the reasons why I love cycling is because it is an individual’s effort. Even if you are cycling with 100 other peddlers, it's your cycle, it's your business to pedal. Nobody can help you if you want to give up in between. Many times, when I am go cycling with my friends, all they could say was, “just pedal” or at worst, they would leave me far behind. Who is to wait? You are on your own. It is not like a play where you need two players. You have your fair share of pain and pleasure. Having lived alone for so many years now, being alone is where I have rejoiced, either in rewards or regrets. Cycling is a bit of both, my legs have more wound marks than moles. It's the feeling that I love the most. I think I understand what the wind beneath my arms feels like. When I speed up, I can feel the gentle wind on my chest and underneath my arms as I stretch my arms to hold on to the handle of my cycle. Not just holding it, as someone suggested, holding onto it like holding onto my life. He clearly instructed, you never let go of it.
On the same note, I have not been able to let go of it. I find excuses and reasons to pedal. I make sure I cycle either in the morning or evening. I see colleagues from work, I greet them with a smile and carry on. Once SB said that people “notice” me because I am wearing a helmet which I find a little funny. Children especially have their heads turned because it is an “electric” cycle. They are curious. Some ask if I have to pedal or not. One even asked the price and said that he would buy it someday. I have a hell lot of adventures with it. Once, I stopped to fill the air and I ended up asking grapes from their garden - sweetest of the season. I have even crossed a stream in it only to find my shoes completely soaked and later I could see, I reached home with dirt on my legs. I have reached Shiva mandir in it and found that the pujari guru is also from the eastern part of Nepal. I have struggled uphill and almost cried for not being able to push further. I have forgotten to turn the motor on and dragged it like a goat. Also, I have cycled in the rain because it was too suffocating to stay home at times. But in those times, I felt closer to myself. A gradual realisation came along that being “independent” is a process. Being able to earn your living, being able to cook for yourself, being able to find and set a house in a new place, being able to find friends in strangers, being able to build relationships and so on are part and parcel. We are constantly exploring and trying to free ourselves from our own being, evolving, learning, checking that box. I checked. I learned. I cycled. Now, I am confident to cycle alone too.
I am rather surprised how accessible Birendranagar is. I never realised it until I started cycling. You can reach from one end of Birendranagar to another within no time. While some roads are on the rougher edge, the new roads are swoon worthy for a novice like me. The advantage is that Birendranagar only has autos to commute inside the valley. Almost all of the places is about few minutes to an hour away. I have cycled to the market for groceries, I have gone to medical stores, I have paid my homage to temples, I have gone for morning tea to the other end of the city, I have gone to restaurants to catch up with friends, I have cycled across in just an evening ride or morning pedal. The commute is so easy. No waiting for auto, no bargaining, no hassle of seats. I get to see how Birendranagar is growing leaps and bounds in the past few months and cycling is a lifestyle to look forward to. However, I also want to acknowledge that the rain or shine may not always be favourable, it is hot and it can be harsh. But it is not undoable.
To conclude, I would like to thank Kopila Valley for lending me the cycle. And, there are also couple of people that I need to thank. Without telling much, there are Ss and Ps who may not have always been warm to my choices (out of concern) but they have rooted, cycled along, secretly followed me back home, shouted my name while I whined along, dragged me on a Saturday afternoon and insisted I learn, they have been there and sometimes, that is just more than enough. You feel it when there is love. But, most importantly who inspired me was the small children from the children's home. In my brief stay there, I couldn't help not learning. They would look forward to my ritual of learning cycling and made me accountable by asking, if I was not cycling on any evenings. A 5-year-old who might fall if he had to walk on slippery floor was balancing a cycle like a pro. It was K, it was Y, it was M, it was N, it was all of them who helped me learn. It is one of the best experiences of life, to get inspired by these children, to have the partners of carriage share these experiences and the roads/places where my heart has skipped a beat every time I have been able to accomplish the ride. Unlike the other places I have stayed, I cannot say that the footprints shall remember. It is the gentle wind which has brushed me, will remember when I leave and I will still be short of words to express the feeling. For now, thank you.
Suminma Sampang
Career Counsellor, Kopila
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